With allegations of a second nanny abuse scandal hanging over the usually quiet main-line area, an even more disturbing trend in suburbia is emerging - Nannies have begun banding together for protection in gangs.

Rumors surfaced last week about two rival nanny gangs called the “Baby-Watchaz” and the “Nips” were not only fighting back against their rich suburbanite oppressors, but between themselves for control of nanny territory. Since then, the trend has spread quickly with gangs like the “Cradlerockers” and “Paoli Strollers” claiming territory and making their presence known.

As recently as last night, these gangs of nannies have been seen gathering outside local Starbucks and IHOP restaurants. Efforts by local police to disperse the gatherings is being met with increasing resistance. One nanny was arrested after taunting officers with what looked like a weapon. Later, however, it was found to only be a weapon shaped baby rattle.

Meanwhile, at the center of the controversy, self-absorbed mainline socialite and complete spaz Susan Tabas-Tepper is having her day in court. While she maintains her innocence, new claims that she assaulted a day spa employee for not applying her cucumber eye treatment properly means she isn’t close to being out of trouble yet.

“First of all, my client is innocent,” Tepper’s attorney Mel Takeanycasey explained. “Second, she prefers that nannies be referred to in the future as ‘indentured servants’ or ‘property’. Frankly, these thug nannies don’t deserve any better. And yes, I will say anything for money.”

As her lawyer continued the press conference, nanny gang leader Lisa Gigioti bust in, Frank Keel style, by yelling profanities and threw a half-full baby bottle at Tepper. She also proclaimed loudly that she had ‘tagged’ her house with spray paint and also mislabeled all of her dry-cleaning.

“That’s IT!!! Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight you f*@king nanny trash!” Tepper screamed while being held back by her lawyer, hairstylist and the pack ungrateful spoiled brats that she has to hire nannies to control and raise for her. “I’m going to beat you with my husband’s gold plated shoe horn!”

Stay tuned Philly. Cheers!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 at 8:51 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.